Somebody may have been right when he or she warned you that Halloween was all about sex and spirits. In most cases, this is more Casper rather than The Shining, with rituals dedicated to, purification protection, and good crops.
Here are a few interesting tidbits on the sexual history of Halloween. We may expect to see ghouls and ghosts when we look a little closer at the traditions of Halloween’s past, but it is s surprised you that just how much sex the jack-o’-lanterns of the last few hundred years have been audience to.
The Splintery Truth About Early Magical Witches And Dildos
In the moonlight, the witches are more often than not having decidedly unchaste fun with devils, when they pop up in art throughout history. It seemed that clothes were totally optional. What isn’t depicted well is the origin of the witch’s broomstick.
Apparently, she might also just be high, when a witch is flying high on her broomstick. Before taking to the sky it was believed that these women would put together a special, hallucinogenic ointment and slather up their broomstick handles. Of course, the best way to make sure your broomstick ointment absorbs properly is to mount the handle in a manner that is definitely going to compromise the promise ring.
There are two historical accounts of this practice. One source comes from the 15th century manuscript “Quaestio de Strigis” (An Investigation of Witches) by Jordanes de Bergamo. In this book Bergamo states “certain days or nights they anoint a staff and ride on it to the appointed place or anoint themselves under the arms and in other hairy places.”
The other source is in 1324, Ireland’s first accused witch, Lady Alice Kyteler, had fled the country. It was thought that she had murdered her husband with sorcery. When historian Raphael Holinshed explained some of the evidence they found in her home he said “They found a pipe of ointment wherewith she greased her broomhandle, upon which she ambled and galloped through thick and thin.”
Apples Used To Be The Universally Forbidden Fruit
Just like the sexy cats, sexy nurses, sexy witches and general lingerie at Halloween parties weren’t enough, it seems to have thrown apples in there to really hammer home the message. Apples are pretty notorious in their own right, what with having initiated Eve into the Sisterhood of Any Pants At All and their persistent tie to fertility imagery, but throwing them in a bucket of water and bobbing for them is its own kind of sexy. The “Bobbing for Apples” party game has its origins in the apple trees Romans brought with them when they invaded Britain. A common game back then involved apples tied to strings and suspended from trees, which the young unmarried girls would bite for with their hands behind their backs. First girl to get the apple could start planning her wedding.
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